How rude of me!

Me at the moment

 Last night, I had the hardest time going to bed. I felt like my head was going to explode with all the thoughts I had. So I decided that I was going to start to write down everything I was thinking. I'm not really good at expressing myself, I do much better with writing things down.  My friends call me Rollo for short. My family is from Haiti, which makes me Haitian. I love action movies, eating and hanging out with my vibrant extroverted friends ( I'm the complete opposite).  I was recently a toddler/ preschool teacher at a non profit organization which I loved, well at the start. That changed because of the person I was working with but overall I grew tired of it and made the major decision to leave there. I had no other job lined up nor did I have an idea of what I wanted to do ( ahhh screams inside).

When I graduated Regis College in 2012 with my BA in liberal  studies/ Education I had some sort of plan of what my life would look like. Which was find my passion in life, ( working with children) find my soul mate, (think I have an idea who that is) and that whole fairy tale ending girls dream of lol. Looks at watch.. well it's been 4 years later and i'm feeling like i'm back at square one (I have no idea what it is I wanna do). The more I think about it that more terrified I get! I don't have another 4 years to waste, trying to "figure myself out".

My goal with the blog is to help me sort out everything that i am feeling instead of bottling everything up and to get broader sense of where I am going with my life. A lot of my writing will be based on my current mood. Therefore, my monday morning thoughts will stem from different things such as, my previous week, things that I encountered, what goals I want to set, and just mainly me venting about my problems (shrugs).

-ROLLO

Do I see myself doing the same things for the next 5 years?



I laugh every time I see this!

I have a bad habit of ignoring my gut. I find myself doing things I have no business doing. I find that as I get older I stopped caring about being able to please everyone. Fact, you won't always be able to make people happy. Impossible task. And once you come to terms with that, you will be good. I hate the fact that my life is predictable. I hate the fact that I wake  up do my morning routines, go to work ( pretend that I'm happy). Come home look for some sort of appropriate dinner and watch family feud. Then go to bed to just wake up to repeat the same cycle. IT'S NEVER ENDING. What I'd rather be doing is traveling around helping to teach children to read n write. Or somewhere very peaceful writing children's books. 

Hmmmm today's thoughts !!!

1. Why do I not allow myself to be happy?

2. Do I see myself doing the same things for the next 5 years?

3. What makes me happy?

4. What are my skills?

5. Where do I wanna travel next ?

6. Can I really trust him?

7. Could we truly live a happy life?

8. Am I over thinking everything (probably)? 

9. Is my stress dictating my life ? 

10. Money? 

Still haven't figured it out.

 Growing up, the most important thing you can do for yourself is get an education. From preschool through college we spent our lives in a structured classroom  

But what happens when we are set free from that classroom.  Well, we are set free (like caged animals left to fend for themselves). 

We are thrown into this enormous real world and are told to work.

As a child, I had big dreams of being this strong professional women. With a wonderful husband by her side, along with my amazing two kids (my perfect life). 

Slight problem, what they didn't share about the real world is the hills, obstacles and even pot holes that can come and stand in your way.  

How does one get from point A to Z when feeling the size of an ant.