Me vs. Them

Hmmm dating, such an exhausting task. I have had all types of men approach me. And it's been interesting. Not sure if it's my baby face, but I seem to attract older men that are twice my age (major side eye). I feel like there is no happy medium, it's either I attract men my age who are not serious about exploring a relationship. So then I have to curve them because we all know what they are looking for, Or I get approached by  the older grandpas. I hate small talk and I hate people  wasting my time. Yeah, I get it men my age either party (club scene  every weekend), drink (alot) and smoke (24/7). I'm not about that. I'm looking for substance. I like trips, exploring different things, talking, hanging out/ getting to know one another. What is wrong with that now a days! I cant stand games at all.  Things like this makes me hesitant to even bother striking up a conversations with men. I feel like I already know in what direction it will go. But on the rare occasions I meet someone I feel is worthy of my time. Conversation is great, we do fun activities but I find myself not attracted. Am I being too picky? Do I even know what I am looking for?  (NO)   I really cant put the blame all on them now can I!

Anxiety

Lately, I have been feeling anxious. Mostly because of the fact that, I do not feel like I am where I am suppose to be in life. But I am learning to let go of the fairy tale life that I created in my head. Now, I am moving into creating a realistic life for the future. I think the fact that I had envisioned my "perfect life" it clouded my judgement significantly. I worry that I am being complacent. I worry that I will get comfortable and not push myself to move further. I worry about passing up great opportunities because of fear. I worry about not following my passion. I think your 20's is the most stressful years of life. AND THEY DO NOT TELL YOU THIS! I seriously thought I had it all figured out, Sigh. Moving on, i'm trying to stay positive this time around, despite the fact I have no clue what I am doing (nervous laugh).  I feel like some great changes are headed my way. Focusing on the good out weighing the bad. Change is a great thing right???

Baby Fever

For the last couple of weeks now, I have been having major baby fever! And when I saw this adorable little girl, I lost it.  I was really adamant on having only boys because I felt they would be easier to deal with.  However, I cant wait for the day where I wake up and see a similar face like that staring back at me along with my little boys. For a long time I have always said I didn't want kids ( even though I connect well with them). What changed? No idea. Feeling the need/ urge to be maternal. Of course, I'm still waiting for that right person to come along so all this can be possible.  SOOOOOO Mr.Right where are yoooooooooou!